"Cousin in Miami"

Jimmy Buffett had the right idea with his well known lyrics, but according to our experiences, he left out quite a few. Everybody’s got a cousin, a second cousin, a third cousin, a father, a step mom, a sister, a brother, a sister-in-law, a brother-in-law, a niece, a new neighbor, an old neighbor, a boat friend, a dock friend, a new friend, an old friend, and a friend of a friend….in Miami. Thank you to every single one of you that visited us on Tessa during these wonderful months in Key Biscayne paradise. We enjoyed every minute of every visit!!! Chas wasn’t the first to arrive, but we will start the story with him, as he is very needy about special recognition. He drove down from Fayetteville on leave, and stayed with us for a way-too-short visit. His stay was supposed to coincide with his 27th birthday on March 31st, but we had to celebrate early due to his preparations for departure to Afghanistan the first of April. Good timing, a Great White charter was scheduled during his visit. We were anticipating an experience for Chas similar to Jon’s. Chas happily surrounded by intoxicated dancing bikini clad babes as he secretly texted pictures to his envious buddies back at Fort Bragg. At Miami Beach, we watched the guests depart from the bus with a serious sense of disappointment. One by one, each middle-aged man stepped aboard Great White, receiving a warm but not-so-sincere welcome from the crew. WHERE ARE THE BABES? They don’t even have to have bikinis, just give us females…PLEASE!!! Although the event supervisor, Adele, is absolutely gorgeous, Chas couldn’t have gotten even a nod from her while she tended to her customers. She definitely had her hands full with this rowdy crowd of Doctors from Argentina. I always seek out the party leader in each crowd to get things warmed up quickly. My target was easily identified on this trip. He was sporting a huge smile, accompanied by a busy Hawaiian shirt and stylish plaid knee high shorts. Come on, Doc, let’s get this party started with the perfect song. “It’s Five O’clock Somewhere!” He eagerly listened as I explained the meaning of the lyrics. They assembled for a group photo, and I couldn’t stop laughing when I spotted my Doc singing the chorus along with Jimmy Buffett and Alan Jackson. But I sure felt bad for Chas as the Doctors partied to a feverish level, drinking heavily, all vying for Adele’s attention. We took a nice long beach walk the next day, where Chas began his quest of finding and conquering a coconut. Sunday afternoon we had a party for Chas on Tessa, which included the younger generation new friends we made, Mitch and Kristen. Since they were all about the same age, the three of them had a great time together, even with us old folks around. Our favorite dock friend Angela and Captain Ed did a drive-by on their cruising yacht Sanctuary. Mr. Fish, my nickname for our friend Leo, came back from spear fishing triumphant, proudly holding up a 30 pound grouper which made our mouths start watering. The next day four pounds of beautiful filets were delivered to Tessa. Now that is service! Gary wanted nothing to do with another trip to South Beach, but Chas and I took the opportunity to spend a few hours there while Gary and Pete readied Great White for an annual Coast Guard inspection. By the end of the afternoon, I had bruises on my arms from Chas excitedly poking me every time he spotted an ultra-expensive sports car. He spent most of the time taking photos on his cell phone and texting them to his buddy Wac, while I people-watched. We spotted Pete’s favorite nightclub, Mango’s, and decided to duck in for a cold one. Chas ordered a Corona. “That’ll be $5.55 plus tax and gratuity please” says the scantily clad barmaid. If a beer is that much, might as well have a mango mambo. Do I want the $12.00 plastic cup or the $15.00 souvenir plastic cup? What? The menu says $9.00. This is about when she began losing interest, and replied “tax and gratuity!” OK, just give me a rum and diet coke. One shot or two ma’am? What? This is way too complicated. How much is a shot? $7.00 plus tax and gratuity. I’ll take ONE SHOT and THEN we’ll go find an ATM. Um, by the way, we’re not from around here.. we’re from Ohio, oh…it shows? Just when we were feeling lonely and depressed by Chas’ departure, Tom and Sheri arrived to cheer us up. They spent a long weekend with us, enjoying the sun, Grouper Fingers on Tessa, Key Biscayne, Ayesteran, and Hooters in Coconut Grove, where the waitresses posed for a birthday greeting for Chas. On the way back to the Fort Lauderdale airport, we slurped oysters together at Southport Raw Bar and then, just when as they were getting warmed up, off they flew back to chilly Detroit. My cousin Leonard and his new wife Jan shared a day of their Florida vacation with us. It’s tradition to have pizza at the Flicker Light Lounge in Hollywood, where Leonard spent many a summer afternoon hanging out with Uncle Joe during their family vacations. We met there for an early lunch, then they followed us to Rickenbacker Marina to see Tessa’s digs. We thought they would get a kick out of world famous JIMBO’S, and I really got a kick out of Jan’s reaction. “OH MY GOSH??!!” she kept exclaiming over and over again, as we wandered through Miami’s most legendary squatters camp. A visit to Ayesteran capped off a perfectly wonderful visit. Speaking of legendary…Crazy Doug paid us a visit, traveling all the way from Houston. Or was he just in San Diego? Or did he fly in from New Orleans? Keeping up with Doug’s travels are just as impossible as keeping up with his partying pace. But oh is it ever fun trying!! Luckily, Doug’s trip coincided with a visit from Archie and s/v Janey. The two boys kept each other company while we did a Great White day long charter. Doug originally planned to join the charter, his cooler all packed with cold Miller Lites, ready to experience a party on Great White. Until the first group of little children began boarding, squealing in delight, jumping on the tramps and running around the decks. Doug leaned over to me and uttered his now famous quote. “Hey, I’m starting to re-think this plan.” “Run while you can” I whispered back, but he was already out of earshot and halfway to Joe’s Tiki Bar. Archie, s/v Janey, Archie’s friend Leslie, and Jage and Carmen on s/v Simplicity settled into our nearby anchorage for a great visit. We did what sailors do best. Ate, drank, and laughed a lot, in between telling sailing stories and reminiscing about our Annapolis boat show experiences. What truly great friends our little gang has become in such a short time. Archie and Janey headed to the Keys after the girls headed home, so we went down to Marathon to spend St. Patrick’s Day with him. This was our second trip to Marathon. The first one was to spend with Tom and Marlene at their vacation condo earlier in March. We had just gotten settled in, snacks out, drinks poured, dominos ready to clack, and a call came from Pete. We had a charter on Great White at 9:30 a.m. the following morning. OK, so we just had to get up at 5:00 a.m. and head for home. Didn’t mean we couldn’t make the best of a great evening with great friends. Tom and Marlene still planned to visit us on Tessa later that week, so it all worked out fine. The biggest event in the Keys was earlier in February. Jim and Missy flew down to spend “Put-in-Bay Day” at Sloppy Joe’s in Key West with us. With Jim doing the party planning, there was no way it was going to be just a one day event. He insisted we begin the weekend with a glass bottom boat snorkeling excursion on Friday. The weather refused to cooperate with Jim’s agenda, first throwing fog into the equation, followed by a chilly breeze, which made jumping in the water unappealing to Gary, Missy, and I. But Jim’s little boy enthusiasm was not about to be diminished, so Captain Ashley put him to work diving for lobsters, which was all the entertainment the rest of us needed. Dive after dive, coming up empty netted until…SUCCESS..four times! The other highlight of the boat trip was the spectacular show our dolphin escorts provided. It was exciting enough to see a line of them cresting a wave together, but they also threw in jumping and spinning in the air for their cheering crowd. Absolutely fantastic! Put-in-Bay Day lived up to our expectations. The PIB Island entertainers really draw a crowd, and it’s especially fun to see so many familiar faces from home down at Sloppy Joe’s in Key West. We reunited with Donnie Dunn and Lauren, ran into CRC friends Steve and Susan Fraley and Lakefront Marina friends Craig and David. All the while, Jim is applying Myassis Dragon tatoos on willing women in suggestive places. Gary and I escaped the mayhem long enough to watch the Key West sunset together from the top of the Crowne Plaza. Jim and Missy completed their vacation with us on board Tessa, and then Jim dragged Missy kicking and screaming to the airport for the flight back to frigid Dayton. David and Sandy spent their Spring Break vacation with us just a few weeks ago. During one of our walks, Gary and I discovered the Silver Sands Resort right on Key Biscayne. It is a hidden “Old Florida” motel tucked away along the beach, and it was perfect for their week of R&R. But before they got comfortable around the pool, they had to experience a Great White charter. This was a unique set-up, with four party cats filled with families cruising together out to the sand bar where the major partying occurs. All four cats rafted together to create one big mass of chaos. David, a certified Safety Director at Snow Shoe, said every safety warning bell and red flag went off as he was attempting to help control the crowd. Kids running, jumping, screaming, fighting, crying, playing, swimming, kayaking, and snorkeling, parents doing pretty much the same with some adult beverages thrown in for good measure. After that experience, David and Sandy were so worn out that all they could do was flop onto a chaise lounge by the pool with a refreshing beverage and recover for the rest of the week! It was a welcome change to our routine and we played like we were on vacation too. David was the pool entertainment one afternoon. The empty lot next door is an iguana playground, and one of the iguanas decided to come on over and take a dip in the pool. We all watched David’s expression as Mr. Iguana jumped in and made a beeline directly across the pool toward the ladder that David was at the time casually climbing up. “Is he coming at me? Is he coming at me?” David asked as the Pool keeper, Gary, Sandy, and I gestured wildly and laughed hysterically. In between the pool antics, beach walks, swimming, and reading, we managed to squeeze in wonderful meals at Flanigans with Angela, Joe’s Tiki Bar, Ayesteran, Bayside, and Tarpon Bend. It was a wonderful whirlwind week of fun. In April, we finally connected with Roy and Sue, friends of our friends Dave and Lynnette Werning. They all boated together at Lakefront Marina before Roy and Sue decided to relocate in south Florida. When Dave and Lynnette visited us in Fort Lauderdale last winter, they introduced us to Roy and Sue, and we became fast friends with this great couple. We invited them to Key Biscayne for a Tessa Happy Hour, and ended up spending quite a few enjoyable hours catching up. Our last visitor, Greg Roberto, just made it south before we headed north toward home. His timing was slightly off for resting up, since Gary was in full blown preparation mode and enlisted his help on Tessa. Greg is a true friend and hard worker, and he gladly agreed to help. We still managed to have great fun in between boat chores. We had our last Flanigans platter of free nachos with Angela, a plate of bait at the Boaters Grill, and a relaxing pool afternoon. The grand finale of our Miami experience was the going away party we threw as a thank you to all of our friends at Rickenbacker Marina and dock neighbors. It was a great chance to say goodbye in celebration and not sadness. There were plentiful snacks and drinks and laughter and hugs and handshakes. Pete arrived with his contagious smile and dance moves, and soon the Rickenbacker gas dock became a dance floor as the party took off at full speed. Now the dancing is over and we are on our way home. But if you’re already on your way down, just keep on coming and dance your own dance. We now know a lot of absolutely wonderful people who know everything about everything in Miami, who could most certainly end up being a distant cousin, or a new friend, or a dock friend, or a boat friend, or a friend of a friend. Everybody needs to have a dream come true. We did!